I'm still here

I've been gone a long time - just got busy with other things.

We were in San Diego last week for vacation. We offered Leo a Disney trip but he preferred to return to San Diego again, mostly to go to Legoland. We stayed in a condo very close to the convention center, so we were there for the end of ComicCon. I noticed people wearing unusual outfits/costumes before I realized what was happening. We did the usual kid things, but didn't go to Sea World this time. I can only take a few days of amusement parks before I overdose on them.

When we rented a car at the airport, we were offered a Hummer. I never thought that I would get in a Hummer, and I didn't. We had reserved a small SUV (David's idea, not mine) but they gave us a huge one instead. What we didn't realize was that the parking space under the condo complex was very small, and getting that boat into the space was difficult to put it mildly. David scraped one door handle the first time that we did it.

We drove up to Orange County to have lunch with a friend of David's in San Juan Capistrano. (She's a liberal Mormon, if that isn't an oxymoron, and refers to entering Orange County as going "behind the orange curtain", a reference to the old Iron Curtain across Europe for those too young to understand.) We toured the old Spanish mission there after lunch. I was surprised by the San Onofre nuclear reactor. I knew that it was along the coast but it's just right there between the beach and I5, where a terrorist with a car or 18 wheeler full of explosives could take it out and spread radioactivity for many miles. And why put a nuclear reactor in an earthquake zone and in a place that could have a tsunami? The disaster in Japan could have happened there.

I'm really angry at Obama and the Democrats for caving to the crazies in the Republican party over the debt limit. Grow a spine and tell the loonies no and then stick to it! I am seriously thinking of joining the Green Party. I actually agree with them more than the Democrats, but after the Ralph Nader debacle in 2000 I feel like a vote for the Greens is a vote taken away from the Democrats, which is essentially the same as voting for a Republican.

I'm back

After over 2 months I am finally back. I wasn't planning to take a long break but it just seemed to happen. Work got very busy, family life was busy, you know how it goes.

My son and I took a vacation to visit my parents during his spring break. My dad annoys my husband too much for David to come along. The two of us had a good trip, but I left Leo's favorite bathing suit - the one that is too small - at home and he decided that he didn't want to go to the beach, which is normally one of his favorite places, in the other bathing suit. I got to spend some time with my sister, brother in law and my niece, who is 16 months old. She never got used to me and wouldn't let me hold her. It's also amazing to me how much she looks like my sister. I'm enough older than my sister to remember what she looked like as a kid, and my niece looks like a clone of her. What's really strange is that my niece looked just like her father and not at all like my sister when she was born. Someone commented that it is adaptive for children to look like their fathers at birth - it confirms that the father is indeed the father and strengthens father-child bonds. I guess that I had not thought of it in Darwinian terms like that.

There doesn't seem to be a lot happening in gay and lesbian news lately. Next month there is a hearing in the Prop 8 trial. The pro-Prop 8 side is claiming that Judge Walker was biased because he is gay. I don't think that will work too well. Then several more months until the California Supreme Court considers whether the Prop 8 backers have standing to appeal the district court's decision. I don't think that they do, and California Attorney General Kamala Harris agreed in her amicus brief. I also hope that New York can pass marriage equality legislation. But Rhode Island failed to and seems to be headed toward Domestic Partnerships instead. And Minnesota may have a constitutional amendment to ban marriage equality in 2012. More evidence of why I have never been able to trust a Republican politician.

we're home

We returned from our vacation. I've been up since just before 3 AM Eastern time, so just before midnight today Pacific time. We're probably not going to fly United again. Why send us from Georgia to Chicago to get to California? Leo did well on the flights until the last 30 minutes or so, which is really good.

David is angry at my father about the way that David feels that my dad ignored Leo. My dad prefers little kids that can't disagree with him, and he doesn't know how to handle it when Leo is tired or frustrated and snaps at him. My dad takes it personally and gets his feelings hurt, when all the other adults recognize that it just a tired kid. David is going to write an email later about his issues with the trip in general and my dad's actions in particular.

vacation, day 4

Today Leo, my mother and I went to Tybee Island, the local beach. Leo ran around, played in the surf, and collected shells and shell fragments. He seems to love the beach. When he was asked in school to draw a picture of his favorite place in the world, he drew a picture of him playing at Tybee Island.

We went out to a restaurant for my brother-in-law's birthday. It was called Moe's, and I knew that it wasn't my kind of place when we walked in and all the staff called out "Welcome to Moe's!" It wasn't a sit down place with a waiter or waitress as I expected, so we placed our order, got our food and found a place to sit. It was so loud that it was hard to hear anyone.

Yesterday wasn't the best day. First my father was driving and pulled out right in front of another car, almost caused an accident. He's really not the best driver. I got upset because David and Leo were on that side of the truck and yelled at my dad. Later he and David had a bit of a disagreement. The details aren't important, but I could see both of their viewpoints. Things are OK now, but David has said that he doesn't want to come back next year. He doesn't find time with my parents relaxing. Leo and I will come back but it's David's choice whether he comes or not.

I did get to spend more time with my niece. She's four months old, and I even thought 'I would enjoy having a baby again.' But David would not, and since he's the stay at home parent, he would have the vast majority of the work. Going through the adoption process again is a big undertaking, and at 45 I'm kinda old to consider another newborn. I like Leo's age now, although I've liked every age that he has been.

going on vacation

Leo, David and I will be flying to visit my family in Georgia tomorrow. We'll be staying with my parents, and since they have only one computer, with no privacy while using it, I may not be able to post for the next 8 days or so. We usually visit my parents each spring during Leo's spring break. Although David likes my family, a week of living in their house gets to him. My father and David are very different people, and my dad can drive David crazy - he drives me crazy at times too, but I'm used to it.

A few years ago when we were back visiting and were at a party with my parents, one of my mom's friends asked me if I was enjoying my visit back home. I answered her honestly and said "Oh no, this isn't home. California is home, this is just where I grew up." I didn't realize that my mom was standing nearby and heard my response. David saw that she was and that she got a sad look on her face. I didn't mean to hurt my mother, but my answer was honest. Georgia isn't my home, and I haven't lived there in 20 years. It was too conservative and inbred for me - so many people there have never lived anywhere else to experience a different outlook on life. My mother tells me that I'm in the seventh generation of our family to be born in the same town. My response was always "Well, there won't be an eighth generation."

So where is "home"? To me it isn't that place that I was born, but the place that my home is now. I don't like the term "hometown" either, since what people mean is where someone was born or grew up, but to me it should mean the town where you have your home. There's nothing wrong with living your whole life in one town, but you do miss the opportunity to try other places and be exposed to new experiences. That's my view, but I'm open to hearing other opinions.