I'm pooing versus I'm farting

Leo, being a 7 year old boy, is definitely in a potty humor phase. He offered to play checkers with me on his iPod (which has subsequently been taken away for him hitting it on the table when it wouldn't do what he wanted) the other day. He entered our "names" on the iPod as "I'm pooing" for him and "I'm farting" for me. A fart or a burp is always good for a laugh.

Work has been busy, as expected during cold and flu season. One of my patients on hospice died today. I hope that his wife is handling his death OK.

My hairstylist has convinced me to let my hair grow out. I was keeping it short to control the curl, and I'm not sure the extra length and curl will work out, but it's only hair. If I don't like it I can always get my head shaved - no I can't really, my skull has a strange shape in back.

Nothing more to say today, other than I should have posted something sooner. I think "I should write a blog entry about that" but forget about it before I get around to it.

my husband is (sort of) famous

Gawker.com had a contest for worst Christmas give giving or receiving stories, and my husband submitted a story. It made the top 10 worst stories, but wasn't nearly as bad as the "winner." Oprah's best friend Gayle read on Oprah's radio show (who knew that Oprah had a radio show?) the top stories, so my husband's story was read on national radio. He used a pseudonym, and he didn't know anything about it until later, but it's kinda fame. So here's my version of the story.

His great grandmother was well known for being cheap. Each year she ordered an Old Spice gift box, with a jar of Old Spice, which she would remove and give to her husband to use, and an Old Spice soap-on-a-rope. (For those too young to know about soap-on-a-rope, it was a bar of soap with a thick string attached for holding onto, I guess, although it always seemed strange to me.) She would wrap up the gift box, with half of the gift missing, and give it to some unlucky male relative. The running joke among other family members was "Who's going to get the soap-on-a-rope this year?" His great grandmother had died by the time that I entered the family, but my first Christmas in which we all exchanged gifts, I had the pleasure of being regifted one of the last soap-on-a-ropes. Everyone was quietly watching me open it, and when I did I was shocked but tried to be polite, while thinking "Who in the f**k gives soap-on-a-rope as a Christmas gift?" David told me the story and everyone, myself included, laughed. I put the soap away to give to the next male to enter the family, but after two cross country moves the soap was lost.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is ending

As probably everyone in the US has heard, a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell passed the Senate on Saturday. (It's the law that prevents gays and lesbians from serving in the Armed Forces unless they are never sexually active and never tell anyone their orientation.) That is good news. Now the President will sign it and the process set up to end it will begin. There were a handful of Republicans voting for it - why not, since the majority of Americans supported repeal. It was a bad law from the beginning.

I do have to wonder about the progress over the last two years, in which Democrats had majorities in both houses of Congress and the Presidency. The only positive laws that passed for gays and lesbians were a hate crimes law and the eventual end of DADT. Yes, the President issued an executive order requiring hospitals that accept governmental funds (as almost all do) to permit gays and lesbians to have their partners visit them, but that really isn't much to show for two years. Where was the Employment Non-discrimination Act that prevents employers from firing someone just for being gay or lesbian? Or some type of federal recognition of same sex couples? Or a change in laws to allow Americans to sponsor their partners for immigration? Or some federal law to protect gay and lesbian kids from bullying at school? Maybe I was expecting too much, but I was only hoping for equality, which shouldn't be too much for 21st century America.

Jabba the Hut

Yesterday morning Leo went to the bathroom during breakfast. After a while, he yelled out "My poo looks like Jabba the Hut!" What do you say in response to that? I said "OK." I asked David and he said that his stock answer in situations that seem to require one but you don't want to say what you really think to Leo is "That's good to know." Since I'm on the subject of 7 year old boys and "poo", I am waiting until Leo can wipe his ass in a normal way after a bowel movement. He either doesn't wipe at all (and I know this because I do the laundry and it is obvious when he takes his underwear off, or because he forgets to flush about half the time) or he uses half a roll of toilet paper and blocks the toilet. I asked a friend with three sons when they become hygienic and she said her oldest did at about 12 when a girl commented that he didn't smell good. His mother had told him the same thing but he ignored her. So I guess that we have about 5 more years.

"Here's my hole, Daddy."

A few days ago Leo told David that he had a hole in one of his pairs of pants, but he couldn't remember which pair. David asked Leo to point out the hole the next time that he found it. So one afternoon as we were about to serve dinner David and I were standing in the kitchen near the sink when Leo comes in, sits down on the floor, tilts his torso back and raises and spreads his legs. He points to a small separation in the seam of the crotch of his pants and says "Here's my hole, Daddy." David and I both suppressed smiles and David thanked him for pointing out the hole. Once Leo left I turned to David and smiled, saying "He has a hole down there." David said, "Yes, I'm aware of that now."

On a more somber note, Leo spends three afternoons a week at the Child Development Center (CDC) at school. It's basically child care for parents who work and can't pick their kids up right after school. We have Leo there so that he has more time to play with other kids, and to give David a break. Yesterday Leo told David that he spent all afternoon playing video games on the computer because no one would play with him. David asked why and Leo said that he didn't know. I suspect that it was his ADHD, which makes him impatient and impulsive, sometimes blurting out thoughts that he should keep inside. We feel bad for Leo, and we're going to try another change in his medications this week.

"happiness delivered"?

I received a catalog in the mail yesterday, and on the front was the caption "happiness delivered." That really bothered me and caused me to think about the American consumerist society. Why do we think that having more stuff will make us happy? Sure, if you don't have the essentials that you need then getting those essentials will make someone happier. But once you have what you really need does having more make you happier? I guess that I have thought about this over the last year or two as I've read some on recent studies and books about happiness. Happiness doesn't come from material possessions, at least not lasting happiness. But especially at the holidays there is this expectation to buy for friends and family to show that we love them. My mother seems to believe this. She got tired of having me return most of what she bought for me when I was a teen, so one year she asked me to give her a list of things that I would like for the holidays. I did, and every year since she calls or emails in the fall and asks for my list. I'm 46, not a six year old with a list for Santa. I don't need more stuff!

I see this "more is better" mentality when I go to a shopping mall, which isn't often. I see store after store filled with stuff and I wonder if we need most of this, and does having it make people happier? Our former President encouraged Americans to go shopping at the beginning of the last minor recession about 10 years ago - he made it sound like our patriotic duty. That was great - rack up credit card debt to buy stuff you don't need. Even now the newspapers cheer on excessive spending at the holidays as a sign that consumer spending is up and therefore the economy is improving. Why not suggest that people cut back on spending and pay down debt?

After the holidays I plan to contact my family and suggest that we only buy gifts for the kids next year. I really don't need my family to buy me gifts to know that they love me.

Sorry for the rant. I just feel that our priorities about buying for others and accumulating more possessions is misplaced.

slushie versus sushi, and "You aim for the drain."

Yesterday Leo wanted me to tell him a funny story about our family. He enjoys hearing family stories. So I told him about the time that I spilled a slushie down my mother's neck and back while she was on her lunch hour. He asked "What's a slushie? Is that like sushi?" I had to smile at that question. I realize that is how we are raising Leo - he's totally comfortable with sushi but has no idea what a slushie is.

Yesterday David did something that surprised me. I was on the toilet getting rid of some santorum (Google that if you don't know what it is. Thank you Dan Savage). David had to urinate, and since we were having a good post coital conversation, he decided to just urinate in the sink. I heard what he was doing and asked if that was what I thought it was. He said "Yes. So?" I said that I thought that it was a little strange, that we have two other bathrooms that he could use. He said that he didn't want to interrupt our conversation, and it was no big deal. I said that it could be messy if there was any splatter. He said "You just aim for the drain and it goes right in. It all ends up in the same place anyway." I should mention that David's mother ran a waste water treatment plant for many years, so conversations of what happens to "stuff" after you flush was normal dinnertime conversation at his house. He also wanted me to add that he is 6'4" tall (1.83 meters) so it's a straight shot down for him. Just so you don't get the wrong impression, David doesn't go urinating on trees in the park or anything like that.