New Year's Day

Today begins a new year, and a new decade (well, you can argue about when the new decade begins, but I won't go there). I do look forward to some things in the new year. David, Leo and I are planning at trip back to the town that I grew up in during Leo's spring break from school. It happens to fall over Easter this year, so we'll be able to go to my extended family's Easter get together. I obviously don't celebrate Easter, but getting together with my extended family is always enjoyable. I have hopes for the federal trial challenging Prop 8 in California based on federal instead of state law. I have more hope for Massachusetts' challenge to part 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act, but that isn't near trial yet.

I also hope that the world will become a better, more peaceful and more interconnected place in the next year. Perhaps some of the division in the United States and the world will lessen. I would like to see the US end at least one of the wars that we are involved in. I would like to see our President live up to more of his campaign promises, especially being the "fierce advocate" that he said that he would be for gay and lesbian rights.

I don't normally make New Year's resolutions, but I will try to continue some of the goals that I have been working on. I hope to be more dedicated to meditating each day. I know the days that are more difficult to fit meditation into my schedule and will work on five or ten minutes on those days. I will also try to be more mindful. It wasn't until I began to meditate and study Buddhism that I realized how little of the time I am actually aware of what I am doing. I'm often on autopilot, thinking of something else, the past or future, a movie or book, or how I want or would like the present to be instead of just being present with the current moment. It sounds simple to be present in each moment, until you try it. So I'm practing being present as much as I can.

I will also try to keep up with friends, family and people I've met online. I haven't been here on blogger long but have enjoyed reading other's blogs and interacting with them. This may sound strange to the younger gay guys that might read this, but blogs have given me a way to express my "gay uncle" feelings. What I mean is that since I became a father six years ago, I realize that I have strong paternal feelings. I also have similar feelings toward younger gay guys - not paternal because I'm obviously not their father, but similar feelings that I have toward relatives of mine - like the younger gay guys are part of my extended family. In a way, they are. I want to help the young guys who can't come out to their families or sports teams. Maybe I can help by giving some advice, or listening when they want to talk or vent frustrations. I have gone through much of what is happening in their lives, so I understand, perhaps in a way that their straight parents can't. So if anyone wants to take me up on that, email me.

That reminds me that when David and I talked about becoming fathers, he suggested adopting or becoming foster parents to gay teens that had been rejected by their families. I admired that, and he still wants to do that when Leo is older. But I wanted the whole experience of parenting, from infancy to adulthood, so we adopted Leo when he was a newborn. Parenting turned out to be much tougher than I realized.

I hope everyone else can have a good year as well. I end this with a wish from my metta or lovingkindness meditation that I practice.

May you be well.
May you be happy and peaceful.
May no harm come to you.
May you be free of greed, selfishness and jealousy.
May you be able to face life's problems with patience, courage and understanding.