Thursday, December 30, 2010

my husband is (sort of) famous had a contest for worst Christmas give giving or receiving stories, and my husband submitted a story. It made the top 10 worst stories, but wasn't nearly as bad as the "winner." Oprah's best friend Gayle read on Oprah's radio show (who knew that Oprah had a radio show?) the top stories, so my husband's story was read on national radio. He used a pseudonym, and he didn't know anything about it until later, but it's kinda fame. So here's my version of the story.

His great grandmother was well known for being cheap. Each year she ordered an Old Spice gift box, with a jar of Old Spice, which she would remove and give to her husband to use, and an Old Spice soap-on-a-rope. (For those too young to know about soap-on-a-rope, it was a bar of soap with a thick string attached for holding onto, I guess, although it always seemed strange to me.) She would wrap up the gift box, with half of the gift missing, and give it to some unlucky male relative. The running joke among other family members was "Who's going to get the soap-on-a-rope this year?" His great grandmother had died by the time that I entered the family, but my first Christmas in which we all exchanged gifts, I had the pleasure of being regifted one of the last soap-on-a-ropes. Everyone was quietly watching me open it, and when I did I was shocked but tried to be polite, while thinking "Who in the f**k gives soap-on-a-rope as a Christmas gift?" David told me the story and everyone, myself included, laughed. I put the soap away to give to the next male to enter the family, but after two cross country moves the soap was lost.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Don't Ask, Don't Tell is ending

As probably everyone in the US has heard, a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell passed the Senate on Saturday. (It's the law that prevents gays and lesbians from serving in the Armed Forces unless they are never sexually active and never tell anyone their orientation.) That is good news. Now the President will sign it and the process set up to end it will begin. There were a handful of Republicans voting for it - why not, since the majority of Americans supported repeal. It was a bad law from the beginning.

I do have to wonder about the progress over the last two years, in which Democrats had majorities in both houses of Congress and the Presidency. The only positive laws that passed for gays and lesbians were a hate crimes law and the eventual end of DADT. Yes, the President issued an executive order requiring hospitals that accept governmental funds (as almost all do) to permit gays and lesbians to have their partners visit them, but that really isn't much to show for two years. Where was the Employment Non-discrimination Act that prevents employers from firing someone just for being gay or lesbian? Or some type of federal recognition of same sex couples? Or a change in laws to allow Americans to sponsor their partners for immigration? Or some federal law to protect gay and lesbian kids from bullying at school? Maybe I was expecting too much, but I was only hoping for equality, which shouldn't be too much for 21st century America.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Jabba the Hut

Yesterday morning Leo went to the bathroom during breakfast. After a while, he yelled out "My poo looks like Jabba the Hut!" What do you say in response to that? I said "OK." I asked David and he said that his stock answer in situations that seem to require one but you don't want to say what you really think to Leo is "That's good to know." Since I'm on the subject of 7 year old boys and "poo", I am waiting until Leo can wipe his ass in a normal way after a bowel movement. He either doesn't wipe at all (and I know this because I do the laundry and it is obvious when he takes his underwear off, or because he forgets to flush about half the time) or he uses half a roll of toilet paper and blocks the toilet. I asked a friend with three sons when they become hygienic and she said her oldest did at about 12 when a girl commented that he didn't smell good. His mother had told him the same thing but he ignored her. So I guess that we have about 5 more years.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

"Here's my hole, Daddy."

A few days ago Leo told David that he had a hole in one of his pairs of pants, but he couldn't remember which pair. David asked Leo to point out the hole the next time that he found it. So one afternoon as we were about to serve dinner David and I were standing in the kitchen near the sink when Leo comes in, sits down on the floor, tilts his torso back and raises and spreads his legs. He points to a small separation in the seam of the crotch of his pants and says "Here's my hole, Daddy." David and I both suppressed smiles and David thanked him for pointing out the hole. Once Leo left I turned to David and smiled, saying "He has a hole down there." David said, "Yes, I'm aware of that now."

On a more somber note, Leo spends three afternoons a week at the Child Development Center (CDC) at school. It's basically child care for parents who work and can't pick their kids up right after school. We have Leo there so that he has more time to play with other kids, and to give David a break. Yesterday Leo told David that he spent all afternoon playing video games on the computer because no one would play with him. David asked why and Leo said that he didn't know. I suspect that it was his ADHD, which makes him impatient and impulsive, sometimes blurting out thoughts that he should keep inside. We feel bad for Leo, and we're going to try another change in his medications this week.