On the way home from some time with his grandparents today, Leo asked David "Is seven odd?" David replied that yes, seven is an odd number. To which Leo replied "Then I'm odd." (since he is seven years old) David's response was "You said it, I didn't." Later he asked David "Do you have a girlfriend?" (If David did we would be having a talk right now!) David said no. We think that one of the older boys on our street was talking about having a girlfriend and Leo is working on the concept in his mind. Then while Leo was showering while David was brushing his teeth, Leo said "I'm stretching my balls. They're tight." Where did that comment come from?
Two weeks ago when I dropped Ethan off at our friends Gareth and Analisa's house to play with their son Alec, Analisa was making orange and lemon marmalade. I was intrigued. She explained briefly how she made it, and it didn't seem hard, although I've never canned anything before. But I'm thinking of giving it a try. I want to watch and help Analisa the next time that she does it. I've checked out a few recipes online, and also some chutney recipes. I realize that making marmalade or chutney seems very domestic, but I guess I'm becoming more domestic as I get older. It's not like I'm out there partying, so why not do interesting things around the house?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Friday, January 28, 2011
my mother's lesbian cousin died
My mother forwarded the online obituary for her lesbian cousin. (second cousin actually, but in my mom's large extended Irish Catholic family no one thought about that - you were just a cousin.) I was pleased to see that her partner of 27 years, who died a few years ago, was mentioned, although she was listed after the "family" members.
Lynne, the cousin, had a few interesting episodes in my parents' and my life. She dated my dad for a while. Yes, you read that right, before my dad married my mom he had dated her lesbian cousin. Their dates often consisted on one-on-one basketball on Saturday nights, and she would often defeat my father. Her obituary mentioned her athletic skills in basketball and softball, and she played when girls were limited to the old "girls rules" which was a much slower, less aggressive game from what I have heard.
Then when my sister was getting married for the first time, I was looking through the invitations as they were about to be mailed and came across Lynne's invitation, which also included her partner's name. It finally clicked in my brain, but I acted as if I didn't know what was going on and asked my mom who the second name on the invitation was. She said "That's her friend." FRIEND??? That seems to have been my mother's family's way of dealing with their gay and lesbian relatives, a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" where gay family members and their partners are always welcome, but it was never discussed. Luckily they are beyond that now, because I'm not staying silent about being gay.
The third and funniest interaction that I had with Lynne actually happened as my grandmother was dying at the hospital where Lynne worked as a radiation oncology technician. Lynne told me and David stories about other gay and lesbian family members. The funniest was about my grandmother's older cousin Joe, who had left the town where I grew up and moved to New York for a few years, then came home. He preferred younger men and had a series of boyfriends who were always welcome at family gatherings. I can imagine that he wasn't a predator but someone who took in younger guys who may have been thrown out of their homes if their parents found out that they were gay. Apparently several showed up at this funeral according to my mother, so they must have cared for him in some way. Anyway, not only did he like younger men, but he was very Catholic (I have no idea why he stuck with the church that I abandoned as a teen), and he had the reputation of having the largest penis of any gay man in the town (too bad I didn't inherit those genes). So putting a preference for younger men, Catholic, and a very large penis together, someone gave him a nickname that stuck with him the rest of his life - Mother Superior. David and I were dying laughing as Lynne told us all of this, as my grandmother was dying upstairs. I guess laughter among the tears.
Lynne, the cousin, had a few interesting episodes in my parents' and my life. She dated my dad for a while. Yes, you read that right, before my dad married my mom he had dated her lesbian cousin. Their dates often consisted on one-on-one basketball on Saturday nights, and she would often defeat my father. Her obituary mentioned her athletic skills in basketball and softball, and she played when girls were limited to the old "girls rules" which was a much slower, less aggressive game from what I have heard.
Then when my sister was getting married for the first time, I was looking through the invitations as they were about to be mailed and came across Lynne's invitation, which also included her partner's name. It finally clicked in my brain, but I acted as if I didn't know what was going on and asked my mom who the second name on the invitation was. She said "That's her friend." FRIEND??? That seems to have been my mother's family's way of dealing with their gay and lesbian relatives, a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" where gay family members and their partners are always welcome, but it was never discussed. Luckily they are beyond that now, because I'm not staying silent about being gay.
The third and funniest interaction that I had with Lynne actually happened as my grandmother was dying at the hospital where Lynne worked as a radiation oncology technician. Lynne told me and David stories about other gay and lesbian family members. The funniest was about my grandmother's older cousin Joe, who had left the town where I grew up and moved to New York for a few years, then came home. He preferred younger men and had a series of boyfriends who were always welcome at family gatherings. I can imagine that he wasn't a predator but someone who took in younger guys who may have been thrown out of their homes if their parents found out that they were gay. Apparently several showed up at this funeral according to my mother, so they must have cared for him in some way. Anyway, not only did he like younger men, but he was very Catholic (I have no idea why he stuck with the church that I abandoned as a teen), and he had the reputation of having the largest penis of any gay man in the town (too bad I didn't inherit those genes). So putting a preference for younger men, Catholic, and a very large penis together, someone gave him a nickname that stuck with him the rest of his life - Mother Superior. David and I were dying laughing as Lynne told us all of this, as my grandmother was dying upstairs. I guess laughter among the tears.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
I'm pooing versus I'm farting
Leo, being a 7 year old boy, is definitely in a potty humor phase. He offered to play checkers with me on his iPod (which has subsequently been taken away for him hitting it on the table when it wouldn't do what he wanted) the other day. He entered our "names" on the iPod as "I'm pooing" for him and "I'm farting" for me. A fart or a burp is always good for a laugh.
Work has been busy, as expected during cold and flu season. One of my patients on hospice died today. I hope that his wife is handling his death OK.
My hairstylist has convinced me to let my hair grow out. I was keeping it short to control the curl, and I'm not sure the extra length and curl will work out, but it's only hair. If I don't like it I can always get my head shaved - no I can't really, my skull has a strange shape in back.
Nothing more to say today, other than I should have posted something sooner. I think "I should write a blog entry about that" but forget about it before I get around to it.
Work has been busy, as expected during cold and flu season. One of my patients on hospice died today. I hope that his wife is handling his death OK.
My hairstylist has convinced me to let my hair grow out. I was keeping it short to control the curl, and I'm not sure the extra length and curl will work out, but it's only hair. If I don't like it I can always get my head shaved - no I can't really, my skull has a strange shape in back.
Nothing more to say today, other than I should have posted something sooner. I think "I should write a blog entry about that" but forget about it before I get around to it.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
my husband is (sort of) famous
Gawker.com had a contest for worst Christmas give giving or receiving stories, and my husband submitted a story. It made the top 10 worst stories, but wasn't nearly as bad as the "winner." Oprah's best friend Gayle read on Oprah's radio show (who knew that Oprah had a radio show?) the top stories, so my husband's story was read on national radio. He used a pseudonym, and he didn't know anything about it until later, but it's kinda fame. So here's my version of the story.
His great grandmother was well known for being cheap. Each year she ordered an Old Spice gift box, with a jar of Old Spice, which she would remove and give to her husband to use, and an Old Spice soap-on-a-rope. (For those too young to know about soap-on-a-rope, it was a bar of soap with a thick string attached for holding onto, I guess, although it always seemed strange to me.) She would wrap up the gift box, with half of the gift missing, and give it to some unlucky male relative. The running joke among other family members was "Who's going to get the soap-on-a-rope this year?" His great grandmother had died by the time that I entered the family, but my first Christmas in which we all exchanged gifts, I had the pleasure of being regifted one of the last soap-on-a-ropes. Everyone was quietly watching me open it, and when I did I was shocked but tried to be polite, while thinking "Who in the f**k gives soap-on-a-rope as a Christmas gift?" David told me the story and everyone, myself included, laughed. I put the soap away to give to the next male to enter the family, but after two cross country moves the soap was lost.
His great grandmother was well known for being cheap. Each year she ordered an Old Spice gift box, with a jar of Old Spice, which she would remove and give to her husband to use, and an Old Spice soap-on-a-rope. (For those too young to know about soap-on-a-rope, it was a bar of soap with a thick string attached for holding onto, I guess, although it always seemed strange to me.) She would wrap up the gift box, with half of the gift missing, and give it to some unlucky male relative. The running joke among other family members was "Who's going to get the soap-on-a-rope this year?" His great grandmother had died by the time that I entered the family, but my first Christmas in which we all exchanged gifts, I had the pleasure of being regifted one of the last soap-on-a-ropes. Everyone was quietly watching me open it, and when I did I was shocked but tried to be polite, while thinking "Who in the f**k gives soap-on-a-rope as a Christmas gift?" David told me the story and everyone, myself included, laughed. I put the soap away to give to the next male to enter the family, but after two cross country moves the soap was lost.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Don't Ask, Don't Tell is ending
As probably everyone in the US has heard, a repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell passed the Senate on Saturday. (It's the law that prevents gays and lesbians from serving in the Armed Forces unless they are never sexually active and never tell anyone their orientation.) That is good news. Now the President will sign it and the process set up to end it will begin. There were a handful of Republicans voting for it - why not, since the majority of Americans supported repeal. It was a bad law from the beginning.
I do have to wonder about the progress over the last two years, in which Democrats had majorities in both houses of Congress and the Presidency. The only positive laws that passed for gays and lesbians were a hate crimes law and the eventual end of DADT. Yes, the President issued an executive order requiring hospitals that accept governmental funds (as almost all do) to permit gays and lesbians to have their partners visit them, but that really isn't much to show for two years. Where was the Employment Non-discrimination Act that prevents employers from firing someone just for being gay or lesbian? Or some type of federal recognition of same sex couples? Or a change in laws to allow Americans to sponsor their partners for immigration? Or some federal law to protect gay and lesbian kids from bullying at school? Maybe I was expecting too much, but I was only hoping for equality, which shouldn't be too much for 21st century America.
I do have to wonder about the progress over the last two years, in which Democrats had majorities in both houses of Congress and the Presidency. The only positive laws that passed for gays and lesbians were a hate crimes law and the eventual end of DADT. Yes, the President issued an executive order requiring hospitals that accept governmental funds (as almost all do) to permit gays and lesbians to have their partners visit them, but that really isn't much to show for two years. Where was the Employment Non-discrimination Act that prevents employers from firing someone just for being gay or lesbian? Or some type of federal recognition of same sex couples? Or a change in laws to allow Americans to sponsor their partners for immigration? Or some federal law to protect gay and lesbian kids from bullying at school? Maybe I was expecting too much, but I was only hoping for equality, which shouldn't be too much for 21st century America.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Jabba the Hut
Yesterday morning Leo went to the bathroom during breakfast. After a while, he yelled out "My poo looks like Jabba the Hut!" What do you say in response to that? I said "OK." I asked David and he said that his stock answer in situations that seem to require one but you don't want to say what you really think to Leo is "That's good to know." Since I'm on the subject of 7 year old boys and "poo", I am waiting until Leo can wipe his ass in a normal way after a bowel movement. He either doesn't wipe at all (and I know this because I do the laundry and it is obvious when he takes his underwear off, or because he forgets to flush about half the time) or he uses half a roll of toilet paper and blocks the toilet. I asked a friend with three sons when they become hygienic and she said her oldest did at about 12 when a girl commented that he didn't smell good. His mother had told him the same thing but he ignored her. So I guess that we have about 5 more years.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
"Here's my hole, Daddy."
A few days ago Leo told David that he had a hole in one of his pairs of pants, but he couldn't remember which pair. David asked Leo to point out the hole the next time that he found it. So one afternoon as we were about to serve dinner David and I were standing in the kitchen near the sink when Leo comes in, sits down on the floor, tilts his torso back and raises and spreads his legs. He points to a small separation in the seam of the crotch of his pants and says "Here's my hole, Daddy." David and I both suppressed smiles and David thanked him for pointing out the hole. Once Leo left I turned to David and smiled, saying "He has a hole down there." David said, "Yes, I'm aware of that now."
On a more somber note, Leo spends three afternoons a week at the Child Development Center (CDC) at school. It's basically child care for parents who work and can't pick their kids up right after school. We have Leo there so that he has more time to play with other kids, and to give David a break. Yesterday Leo told David that he spent all afternoon playing video games on the computer because no one would play with him. David asked why and Leo said that he didn't know. I suspect that it was his ADHD, which makes him impatient and impulsive, sometimes blurting out thoughts that he should keep inside. We feel bad for Leo, and we're going to try another change in his medications this week.
On a more somber note, Leo spends three afternoons a week at the Child Development Center (CDC) at school. It's basically child care for parents who work and can't pick their kids up right after school. We have Leo there so that he has more time to play with other kids, and to give David a break. Yesterday Leo told David that he spent all afternoon playing video games on the computer because no one would play with him. David asked why and Leo said that he didn't know. I suspect that it was his ADHD, which makes him impatient and impulsive, sometimes blurting out thoughts that he should keep inside. We feel bad for Leo, and we're going to try another change in his medications this week.
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