Lately I've been reading about Constance McMillen, who wanted to bring her girlfriend to her prom in rural Mississippi. Her school cancelled the prom instead, and now it's in court. I wasn't surprised - I grew up in the South, and change comes VERY SLOWLY there.
Then I read about Derrick Martin, who was allowed to bring his male date to his prom in Cochran, Georgia. I was quite happy about that, thinking progress had been made. Then Evan from notanotherhomo.blogspot.com (I can't get blogger to make that a link, sorry) alerted me that Derrick's parents had kicked him out of his house due to the publicity. I was so discouraged to read that. How can parents do that to their child??? I'm a parent myself, and when you decide to become a parent, it's a lifetime commitment, no matter what. You can divorce a spouse but you don't divorce your child. In this case it seems that it was the publicity that caused his parents the problem. So they're kinda OK with their son being gay, as long as he doesn't get any publicity, but once he does he's outta there? Is that "Don't ask, don't tell" in the home? What bullshit!!! Now I'm mad. I looked up Derrick on Facebook, but there are six. So I sent them a message, hoping that Derrick responds. I want to see what I can do to help. The parent in me wants to offer to let him live with us, but I'm not sure if that's the best option.
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apparantly for some "parents" their love is conditionaly. they'll give/show it until their "child" inconveinences them. truely sad. epic fail on the "parents" part.
ReplyDeleteman thats so sad ... ur a great guy for even thinkin bout doin that bud
ReplyDeleteYeah - that's sad. And the ironic part is - the parent will get more publicity now that the they kicked him out.
ReplyDeletePlus - publicity always blows over. Wait a week. Everything will go back to normal. Why kick him out? That makes no sense.
I thought the same thing - he can come live with me. But he has a life in Georgia. Plus I heard he's staying with friends. So it sounds like he has some support system. I hope he's doing okay.
Kudos to you for trying to reach out to him. I hope he hears about that and is touched by your kindness.
@buffguy - yeah, "conditional love" should be an oxymoron, but it isn't. I just don't get that.
ReplyDelete@Mikey - when my husband and I talked about having a family, his first choice was to take in gay kids that had been rejected by their family. I wanted the whole experience, from birth on. I guess I "won" that discussion, since we have raised our son since birth.
@NewLeaf - I suspect the parents are trying to avoid publicity - they don't want to be known as the gay kid's parents. "staying with a friend" doesn't sound stable to me - that sounds like crashing on someone's sofa. I worry about what will happen over the next months or years to Derrick.
Yeah, I heard the news too, and it made me really sad. Sounds like he's getting support from his friends and PFLAG though.
ReplyDeleteMakes me so thankful that there are parents like you, and like mine. I am completely open about my sexuality with my parents, and I know nothing could make them stop loving me. If I can accomplish one thing in life, it will be to make sure my kids know I love them no matter what.
Damn, now I'm getting all teary eyed.
@Madeleine, that shows that you will be a great parent. I will add, it's a lot harder than I thought that it would be. My husband just shakes his head when I say that. He can't believe how naive I was.
ReplyDeleteI find it unfortunate that so many people deem friendship and family so conditional these days. Generally it's ironically in the name of love.
ReplyDelete