Grandpa/Greatgrandpa Jim

David's Grandpa and Leo'sGreatgrandpa Jim's memorial service was held yesterday. It was at his Benevolent and Protective Order of the Elk lodge, which we always called the Elk's Club. I don't know the history of the Elks, but it seems to have something to do with veterans of World War 1. When the memorial service started at 1 PM, the clock was set to 11 AM and chimed eleven times. There was mention made of 11 o'clock being the hour to remember the dead. I believe that WW1 ended at 11 AM, November 11th, so that's probably the origin of the emphasis on 11. The Elks also emphasize duty and serving the country in the military, and the American flag was prominent.

The ceremony itself was, as his daughter charitably said "Well, that was different." It was generically religious, Christian really, but also used the symbolism of ivy and some type of flower, but I wasn't sure what they symbolized. The master of ceremony I guess that you would call him mumbled and didn't read his script well, so I couldn't follow all that was said. The cheap looking plastic ivy and flowers didn't help. Thankfully it was brief, ending 12 minutes after it started. There was a point where people were asked if they wanted to say something about Jim, but no one did. I think the problem was that at nearly 91 he had outlived his friends. He said the same thing when the family gave him a surprise 80th birthday party. If I had thought about it ahead of time, I would have said something, but in reality I wouldn't have known what to say. I didn't get to know my grandfather in law as a person really. The longest conversation that we ever had happened when I asked him about Jean, his first wife and David's grandmother, who died before I joined the family. He talked for 20 or 30 minutes about her.

Afterward Phil, Jim's son and David's father, broke down. He said that it finally hit him that his father was gone. David just held his dad, and at my urging Leo went over and hugged his grandfather as well. David is doing fairly well. As I said in my earlier post, he wasn't close to his grandfather.

Afterwards Jim's widow treated us to lunch at the Elk's Club. The food was typical American food circa 1960. The only vegetarian item on the menu was a side order of French fries, so I passed on food. It's not too much fun to sit and watch other people eat I discovered.

By then Leo was restless, so we left soon afterwards. Millie, my mother in law, rode home with us, so we had four people crammed into my Honda Insight. Leo wanted David in the backseat with him, and David wanted to honor that because Leo was clingy, which is to be expected when a six year old is around the ceremonies of death. To fit a 6'4" (I think that's about 1.9 meters) tall man in the backseat, Millie had to pull her seat so forward that her knees were against the glove box.

Later last night Leo couldn't sleep and called for David to cuddle with him in bed. They talked about Greatgrandpa Jim and dying. Leo asked me earlier if Greatgrandpa Jim knew that he was going to die. I said that since Greatgrandpa Jim was old, he knew that he would die sometime but not when it would happen. We expect more questions in the next few days, or maybe weeks or months from now.